Porque te quiero te…

 Porque te quiero te…

 

FOTO NICHO 790

Foto: Morguefile

 

La violencia entre personas jóvenes ligadas afectivamente, se ha vuelto común. Pero este fenómeno social, que amenaza con convertirse en  una pandemia, está conformado por una serie de actuaciones aprendidas, generalmente provenientes de la familia, pues quien crece con violencia, al interior de su hogar, tiene una alta probabilidad de reproducirla en sus relaciones de pareja.

 

¿Qué es la violencia?

 
Es toda manifestación deliberada o consciente, de tipo físico, psicológico o sexual, tendiente a ocasionar daño en la víctima: insultos, golpes, dejar marcas en el cuerpo del otro, humillaciones en público, acoso en las redes sociales, por parte del perpetrador(a) y/o de sus amigos(as), culpabilizar al otro de las peleas de pareja; actos de manipulación; amenazas de involucrarse en otra relación, generando sufrimiento; amenazas de muerte o de daño a sí mismo, son algunas de las expresiones usuales de violencia entre jóvenes parejas.

 
Investigaciones en el tema han encontrado, que cuando se presenta violencia en las relaciones de noviazgo, entre jóvenes y adolescentes, existe una alta probabilidad (por lo menos el 50%) de que también se presente en el primer año y medio de convivencia. De ahí que, abordar el problema desde la fase inicial, al interior de la familia, previniendo comportamientos violentos entre sus miembros, ayudaría a disminuir notoriamente el impacto de las consecuencias sociales derivadas del problema, lo que evitaría correr con los altos costos personales, sociales y económicos, en que incurre la población colombiana a causa de este mal.

 

Nuevas miradas
 
Por otra parte, el estudio de la violencia, generalmente se ha centrado en las relaciones de violencia contra la mujer, pero lo que muestran los hallazgos científicos actuales, es que al menos, en la relación de noviazgo, el porcentaje de violencia es similar entre hombres y mujeres, y en algunos casos, la violencia contra los hombres adolescentes y jóvenes, supera los índices de violencia contra las mujeres jóvenes.
 
Los especialistas identificaron un dato alarmante vinculado con este tipo de relaciones, en el sentido de que, los comportamientos violentos, no son percibidos por parte de la víctima y del agresor, como lo que realmente son: actos dañinos  tendientes a herir o destruir al otro,  sino como “muestras de amor e interés por la pareja”, lo que legitimaría el dicho popular “Porque te quiero te aporrio”, conclusión por demás elocuente,  respecto a los valores que se están  construyendo en la personalidad juvenil;  la baja autoestima, que permite todo tipo de abusos, sin imponer límites  y el escaso empoderamiento de esta población, respecto al derecho a ser tratado dignamente.
 
Pero la ciencia ha hecho otros hallazgos importantes respecto a la secuencia de la violencia. Primero, se presenta en la pareja de novios la violencia psicológica, esta generalmente, da paso a la violencia física. Y que, al presentarse estas formas de violencia, su ejercicio se mantiene mientras dure la relación. Según Strauss: “En la relación de novios, las investigaciones apuntan a que la diferencia entre los géneros se está disminuyendo, o incluso, invirtiendo en relación con la violencia”.
 
“Se ha encontrado, que la violencia entre novios supera la violencia que se ejerce entre personas casadas o convivientes, aunque se manifieste con menor intensidad”.
 

Conclusiones

 
– Hombres y mujeres de todas las edades, somos portadores de derechos y deberes.  Conocerlos y asumirlos desde temprana edad, es  tarea fundamental, que como sociedad debemos asumir, si queremos conformar relaciones emocionales democráticas centradas en el respeto y la valoración del otro.
 
– La familia es la instancia social que determina en un alto porcentaje el tipo de persona que seremos, pero ese desarrollo tan importante en la vida de los seres humanos, tiene su asiento en la calidad de relaciones que se construyen con los hijos, ojalá privilegiando el ejercicio de los derechos humanos por entre todas las cosas.
 
– Quien maltrata no  ama, pues el amor se manifiesta en actos de bondad, aprecio, reconocimiento, valoración y respeto por el otro, máxime si es la persona con quien se está construyendo una historia afectiva.  En tal sentido, escoger a una persona maltratadora para relacionarnos afectivamente nos condena a ser víctimas de maltrato, más temprano que tarde.
 
– Conociendo – gracias a la ciencia – las raíces del problema, es vital desarrollar una iniciativa orientada  a consolidar en nuestros niños y niñas,  un sistema de valores firme que los proteja de la influencia dañina de otros y les permita actuar con criterio frente a acciones de maltrato contra ellos y ellas.
 
– El maltrato no es solo un problema de  pareja, sino un problema social, que afecta de manera contundente el tejido social, y como tal, todos tenemos el deber de denunciarlo ante las autoridades competentes, sin importar si somos familiares o no, de los afectados.
 
– El sistema educativo colombiano debería centrarse en formar habilidades para la vida, que permitan a niños y niñas  interactuar  de manera asertiva en relación con el mundo de las personas, de las emociones y de los afectos.  Si ponemos la ciencia y la ética al servicio de los seres humanos, seguramente ganaremos más como sociedad, que bombardeando a los estudiantes con grandes cantidades de contenidos difícilmente aplicables en la vida práctica.

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