Las personas invisibles

Nicho

Por: Ana Patricia Cerón Guerrero

Psicóloga Fundación S.XXI patyceron@hotmail.com

Las personas invisibles

Muchas parejas y familias se pierden cuando es el momento justo de empezar a vivir el verdadero amor.

Taliesin
Taliesin

En consulta, es usual escuchar que las personas, especialmente mujeres, se sienten afectadas porque son descuidadas, subvaloradas o desatendidas por las personas con quienes viven.

Las quejas van desde “hace todo lo que esté a su alcance por otros, pero no por mi”; “desconoce mis derechos”; “me hace sentir que no soy importante”, “se limita a recibir atenciones, pero le cuesta dar”, “me hace sentir como un mueble más, no como la persona que soy”, “sale corriendo para a ayudar a otros, pero le cuesta cuando se trata de su hija o de mí ”, “dice que me quiere, pero no lo demuestra con actos”; “siempre encuentra regalos excelentes para los demás, menos para mí”; “fue a visitar al niño solamente 10 minutos, porque tenía el compromiso de ir a jugar billar con sus compañeros de trabajo”…

Así, cientos de comentarios similares, unos que muestran más indolencia que otros, se acumulan en las historias de vida de muchas mujeres, y de algunos hombres, que a pesar de dar afecto, entrega y compromiso, no encuentran reciprocidad. Lo mismo he escuchado de sus hijos, que se sienten influenciados negativamente por las actuaciones indiferentes e indolentes, generalmente del padre, y señalan que ese comportamiento ha sido constante en su convivencia.

Descuidar a quien lo ama es un error

Los comentarios expuestos, tienen un punto en común, en la medida en que muestran la insatisfacción y el dolor que sienten las personas cuando perciben que no son importantes para aquel a quien aman. Se evidencian necesidades afectivas no satisfechas; vacíos emocionales que generan sufrimiento; resentimiento ante la indiferencia de quien debería actuar consecuentemente con lo que recibe.

Esto demuestra que uno de los peores errores que cometemos es descuidar a quien acompaña nuestra vida, pues quien da amor, así no lo exprese, espera recibir amor, y es apenas lógico, que quien se esfuerza por mostrar actos de afecto, desee también sentirse correspondido, gratificado, atendido, considerado, reconocido, valorado… Amado.

Pero el caso es, que muchos hombres y mujeres, vivimos con personas valiosas, cuyas necesidades humanas y espirituales desatendidas, y que en tanto aumenta el tiempo de convivencia, terminan siendo para nosotros seres invisibles, a quienes no reconocemos, no agradecemos, no valoramos, no apoyamos; con quienes nos cuesta ser solidarios o compartir; para quienes no tenemos detalles especiales o actuaciones sinceras que muestren amor.

Tal parece que estos seres invisibles tienen casi una obligación, que se enmarca en un “rol histórico” que determina que sus tareas cotidianas: preparar los alimentos, lavar, planchar, ordenar, cuidar la familia… Además de la sobrecarga laboral, deben ser realizadas por un mandato social. Y que quien es depositario y merecedor de estos actos afectivos, solo debe asumir la tarea pasiva de ser receptor. Entonces, la inequidad, expresada en todos los contextos humanos, se encuentra también enquistada en el mundo emocional.

Por qué cuidar el amor

Vivir en pareja y en familia, no es sencillo. La convivencia requiere de la conjunción de múltiples factores, para que sea una experiencia constructiva, exitosa y placentera. De ahí que, es importante que desde el principio de la relación, aprendamos a cuidar el amor, tanto de pareja como de familia, pues los adultos tenemos una tarea fundamental al transmitir a los hijos el significado de compartir la vida, la manera de ser con el otro, la calidad de la relación entre los géneros. En ese sentido, somos también modelos afectivos, que enseñamos de manera acertada o no, la actuación en el mundo emocional y el valor que tienen los seres que nos acompañan. Recuerdo el argumento de un niño, en un colegio de la capital, que llegó a consulta porque golpeaba a las niñas por cualquier motivo: “Es que mi papá le dice a mi mamá, mientras la golpea, que a las mujeres se las debe tratar a las patadas”, aseguró…Eso, o lo contrario, es lo que enseñamos.

Pero además, debemos cuidar el amor, porque sin lugar a dudas, los seres humanos lo necesitamos; es el motor de nuestras vidas y el sentimiento que proporciona equilibrio y estabilidad emocional, fundamentales para mantener una buena salud mental y un adecuado desempeño en las demás áreas de la vida.

Cómo cuidar a la pareja

No es cuestión de fórmulas, sino de sentido común. Diría un querido amigo: “Póngase en los zapatos del otro”.

Lo primero es tomar conciencia de la clase de relación que tenemos, frente a lo cual, debemos seguir unos lineamientos básicos que seguramente fortalecerán nuestra relación y nos harán mejores seres humanos.

El ejercicio tiene que ver con exaltar los valores de la persona con quien vivimos y esmerarnos por enaltecer sus cualidades antes que sus defectos. Esto es importante, porque usualmente tendemos, en todas las relaciones, a hacer apología de “lo malo”, pero jamás resaltamos, ni reconocemos, y mucho menos valorar lo bueno.

En la relación de pareja es conveniente dar y recibir, pues la gratificación mutua engrandece el espíritu y motiva a volver a intentar las actuaciones que han sido agradables para la persona que amamos y nos ama. Debemos tratar a nuestra pareja como queremos ser tratados.

La solidaridad, es una cualidad que tiene que ser más que una buena intención, un actuar responsable y comprometido con las tareas que a diario deben realizarse y que muchas veces deterioran el ánimo debido a la sobrecarga. Seguro es halagador, sentir que quien nos ama se suma a la labor cotidiana. La solidaridad es un concepto en el que la indiferencia no cabe, y el “nosotros” es la salida.

Es fundamental evitar ser indolente, pues quien lo es, no se afecta, ni se conmueve ante el dolor, el sufrimiento, la enfermedad, la necesidad o carga que tenga la pareja, actuación que deteriora de manera contundente la relación, máxime si se está presto a servir a otros, que no sean su pareja o sus hijos. En ese sentido, es esencial que mantengamos una actitud consistente de protección y servicio en relación con la pareja, los hijos y los demás.

Ser detallista aporta; dar muestras de amor espirituales y materiales, como palabras bonitas, gestos de agradecimiento sincero, besos, abrazos, caricias, un regalo inesperado, una invitación, una llamada amorosa, abonan puntos a la relación…Los detalles matan, pero de amor.

Los desacuerdos o disgustos de la pareja, deben ser manejados por la pareja, pues cuando se inmiscuye la familia de uno u otro lado, se hacen comentarios inadecuados, se generan comentarios despectivos y descalificadores que agrietan la relación, y quien pierde es la pareja.

Los especialistas aconsejan hablar menos y escuchar más.

Atendiendo estas sugerencias la persona invisible que siempre ha estado a nuestro lado, seguramente recuperará su visibilidad, solo si adoptamos la sana costumbre de “escucharla con el corazón”. Y finalmente, si está pensando en separarse de su pareja por motivos que pueden superar, piénselo bien, pues de pronto está perdiendo la oportunidad de construir el verdadero amor.

 

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  60. Erectile dysfunction is the lack of ability of a guy to get and keep a construction for long sufficient to finish a sexual intercourse. This means that whenever you have to have sex and are unable to due to some bodily or psychological elements, you will should take Tadalafil. If you are believing about obtaining your Tadalafil over the Internet, this appears like a very good concept, since generic tadalafil 20mg generic cost is most likely to help you simply similarly brand medication would certainly.

  61. You will have to utilize tadalafil price in india for as in length as you have to obtain more challenging erections – it is not visiting heal your erectile disorder. Lack of erection suggests the person is not able to have sex and total sexual relations satisfactorily.

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  64. Various other medicines you are supposed to be mindful with can include seizure medications, rifampin, conivaptan, imatinib, HIV/AIDS medicines, heart or blood pressure medications, doxazosin, ketoconazole, telithromycin, clotrimazole, isoniazid, clarithromycin, erythromycin, itraconazole, antidepressants, diclofenac, voriconazole, and dalfopristin. Online shopping gives you accessibility to more affordable medications of the same excellent quality. Never incorporate Tadalafil regarding other medicines you could be taking. Because this is the major trouble in people struggling with impotence, it functions well for them, offering them their erections back. Tadalafil has been mentioned to communicate regarding grapefruit juice and some items including it. Do not combine tadalafil 5mg prices with nitrate-based medicines, alpha-blockers or other medicines without previously talking with your medical supplier, as this can induce severe health consequences.

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  66. This duration could be much longer or much shorter depending upon every client’s individual collections of aspects. The following ones are thought about to be moderate side effects: pain in the back, stuffy nose, memory troubles, headache, warmth or soreness in your neck, face, or chest, diarrhea, sore throat, upset stomach, and muscle discomfort. This sure seem like a quite pleasant bargain, would not you say? This sexual disorder is not uncommon in men older compared to FIFTY, although recently instances of more youthful people are frequently reported. This group implies that tadalafil 20mg india price could pass into bust milk but is not anticipated to do damage to the wellness of a coming infant.

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  68. If you are not certain the medications you are presently taking have any type of nitrates, checked out the label carefully, or get in touch with your health care company or pharmacologist. You need to consult your physician before taking tadalafil 20mg lowest price to know possible medicine communications and readjust your dose.

  69. Therefore, it’s essential that you ensure you follow these suggestions in case of having actually been provided them. If you get nauseated, woozy or encounter numbness, prickling or pain while having sex these may be the severe side results of taking Tadalafil. This problem is discovered in thousands of men yearly and could be induced by a number of aspects. Do not readjust the dosage yourself also if you believe it will be effective – if you have any of the wellness problems discussed above, are taking any type of medications from the long listing that could be discovered at your neighborhood drug store, or if you are simply older compared to 50, additional tests could be called for to develop the protection of a greater dose of tadalafil online nz for you.

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